A South African Short Story:
One fine day, somewhere in the Province of Gauteng-eleng . . .
Nkosi, driving the latest, greatest BMW, was pulled over at a roadblock.
“Congratulations”, said the policeman “you are all wearing your seat belts, so you just won 5,000 Rand in the Arrive Alive safety competition.”
Nkosi could hardly believe his luck.
”What are you going to do with your cash?” asked the policeman.
”Eish! First thing, I’m going to buy a driver’s license” Nkosi answered.
”Aaawu! Please sir, don’t listen to him sir,” pleaded Sipho from the passenger seat.
“He always tries to be smart when he is drunk!”
With all this noise, Mandla woke up in the back seat. He took one look at the cop and moaned:
“Yoh! Guys – I told you, stealing this BMW was a bad idea. We should have taken the old one. This one nags and complains until you fasten da stupid seat-belt. But you guys are always too cleva!”
At that moment, there was a knock from the boot followed by Zondele’s muffled voice saying: “Are we over the border yet? This dagga is making me itch like crazy!”
There was a long pause while the cop thought things over. . . Then he spoke:
“Okay, my brothers. How are we sharing this prize money?”
~ ~ ~
Postscript: this story was inspired by true events. Except the bit about the 5,000 Rand prize. In South Africa we never reward law-abiding people.
Of course, you have to be truly born and bred in Africa to fully appreciate the humour. . .
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